I HAVE! {more than once!}
I have struggled with infertility our entire seventeen year marriage. It's truly a miracle that we have Tanner. He is a miracle. He is ours because it was Heavenly Father's plan that he come to our family. We have no other children because it is Heavenly Father's plan that we don't have any other children. It's been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. It's painful. It's isolating. Who wants to talk about it? Who understands?
I love Jason with all my heart, but he is a guy and he just doesn't understand what infertility has done to me. To my mother heart.
For years I struggled SO much with feelings of inadequacy. With negativity. I thought I must not be good enough. I must have done something wrong. I had a hole in my heart that I felt could not be filled. I must be broken.
I am broken. We all are.
BUT there is Hope. Hope in the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
I can be happy here on the earth. I can have joy. Tanner is the light of my life and he is enough for me. I can live a full and happy life. My heart has been healed through the Atonement. The hole in my heart has been filled with the love of my Savior. He has healed me.
I still have infertility. I will always live with infertility. I will always feel a little pain when my friends and family announce that they are having babies. But, it only lasts for a moment and I can be happy for them.
I found so much comfort in Sister Burton's talk at the Relief Society Broadcast in October. I still find comfort in her words. I'm so grateful for the hope that the Atonement give me. She is correct ALL that is unfair CAN be made right, through the atonement of Jesus Christ.
To download an 8x10/16x20 of this print, click HERE
What a beautiful print and message. Just remember that you have been like a mother to many young women through your care and example. We are all grateful to have had you in our lives!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jodi. I truly feel like being in young womens and having all you girls saved me during a very difficult time. Heavenly Father always gives us exactly what we need and I needed you girls then. Thanks. I am grateful for each one of you.
Deleteawww... this post made me teary. I still feel the hurt and broken. And I hope one day I feel the healing that you've felt.
ReplyDeleteI'm so so so grateful that we've had each other during these hard years... I will always be so grateful that we became friends almost 20 years ago... you've been such a huge blessing to me and I love you so much.